But seriously, how it the fuck… I mean, how the hell does… Fuck it. Jesse’s hair is magic.
He looks so damn happy.
It certainly seems that way, sometimes.
This just happened to me. This is why I love this game so much.
[2:14:45 AM] Lime God: Oh god fucking dammit. Abandoned mineshaft.
[2:14:47 AM] Lime God: You there?
[2:15:39 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Sorry. I entered my game to check something.
[2:15:48 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): I was in the nether mining Quarts.
[2:15:51 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): quartz.
[2:16:09 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Decided to see how powerful my bow really was. Answer: very fucking powerful.
[2:16:20 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Got a hoard of zombie pigmen pissed at me.
[2:16:28 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Three followed me through the portal.
[2:16:36 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): I had three hearts of health.
[2:16:38 AM] Lime God: Oh damn, they can follow you through?
[2:16:46 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Yeah.
[2:16:47 AM] Lime God: Also, I did that earlier, but they forgot surprisingly fast
[2:16:53 AM] Lime God: After I killed a few, even. |3
[2:16:56 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Since 1.4.6
[2:17:09 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): anyway.
[2:17:15 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Fuckers follow me through.
[2:17:26 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): My portal is way up in the center of my glass sphere.
[2:17:39 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): The asshole knocks me off of the platform and kills me.
[2:17:55 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Well, he falls too.
[2:17:58 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): But doesn’t die.
[2:18:04 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): He picks up my armor.
[2:18:17 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Now this Zombie Pigman has my super strong fucking armor.
[2:18:27 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): I face him down, and died.
[2:18:35 AM] Lime God: Wow. xD
[2:18:41 AM] Lime God: Couldn’t you just dynamite him
[2:18:41 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): I came back to face him again, this time, he has my fucking sword.
[2:18:46 AM] Lime God: Or snipe him from a distance
[2:18:51 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): No scope
[2:18:53 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): bitch.
[2:18:56 AM] Lime God: xD
[2:18:59 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): NOSCOPE!
[2:19:03 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): 1!!!111
[2:19:08 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Anway.
[2:19:11 AM] Lime God: Stand on a building, go all bow and arrow
[2:19:17 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): He’s got like, my armor and sword.
He’s inside of the glass sphere.
AS soon as I enter, he locks onto me.
Still pissed from our earlier altercation.
I creep around the outside. Surely he didn’t pick up my even more amazing bow.
I spot it up on a ledge.
Verily I wait.
Plotting my next move.
The Zombie Pigman walks to the otheride of the sphere.
I sneak in as fast as possible. But he spots me as I enter.
I move quickly to the bow. I pick it up. I sprint.
I sprint for my life to the arrows, nearly fifteen blocks away and up on a ledge.
Behind me he chases. Gaining. Fuck, these spheres aren’t made for climbing.
He hits me once with my sword. I die. Full hearts and I die.
I awaken a mile away. I am verily pissed.
I sprint back to the sphere passing houses upon houses. Villagers staring in confusion; Iron Golem in my path. I knock it down, running I make it to the otherside of town. I can see the rail tracks.
To them I run, I spy an abandoned cart. Sitting in the elements for who knows how long. Testing… It works. I’ve attained speed.
With my new speed I fly across my map.
What would have taken days only took mere minutes.
I jump off the tracks at the huge wooden bridge. Sphere in sight I run.
I run and run. Sprinting with the best of them.
Hunger starting to get to me. Only four hunger points left.
I must focus on the task. Forget about hunger, forget about health. I must have my sword.
Back to the sphere I see that pigman; That Zombie Pigman. Jumping. Jumping. Jumping like he owns the place. I am pissed.
[2:28:30 AM] Lime God: xD
[2:28:36 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): I spy where I was killed. My bow and arrow waiting me. But what’s this? My Diamond Armor pants. Somehow he didn’t get those. I plot my course.
[2:28:43 AM] Lime God: Goddamn this is a story of herculean proportions
[2:28:58 AM] Cochese 25 (Chipped): Into the sphere I Swim up the stream.
He cannot follow me up the stream.
I arrive to the top, and creep around the portal. I see another pigman. He spots me. Obviously he is also pissed. Fuck! I exclaim. I dart to the other side and jump into the waterfall.
Slowly I float downward to within blocks of my weaponry.
Flying past me the pigman falls to his doom.
Fuck! He survived. The fuck are these assholes made of!? Fucking Nethertanium?
He’s pissed. I jump out of the fall early. Leaping toward my bow!
I Make it! Running and jumping. I am going up the side of the sphere and down. Evading his every move when what is right in front of me but that armored freak abomination! My life flashes before my eyes!
.9 alpha version.
I’m cut short!
But I manage to evade, jumping into the nearest waterfall. I swim upward. Bow in hand I kill the unarmored menace.
Hopping below me, taunting. Calling my mother fat; that decaying porky pig jumps.
I shoot him once.
Fuck I miss
I let myself fall too far!
But unknowingly I picked up my diamond armored pants!
I see them in my inventory!
I swim back up!
All the way to the top. Put on my pants and float down the other side.
I’m going face to face with this insecticide melted face looking swine.
He spots me and dashes.
I creep slowly forward. My bow with Power V, Fire Apsect I, Infinity I, and Punch II.
First shot lands, he fly backwards.
Second shot lands, he flys backwards.
My mouse freaks out and deselects my bow!
The Zombie gets too close and hits me once, I lose half of my hearts!
Hits me again, I lose all but 1/2 a heart!
I shoot him, he flies backward and dies.
I go to pick up my armor in the sphere as the night is turning to dusk
[2:38:35 AM] Lime God: xD
[2:38:37 AM] Lime God: AMAZING
Sure, it’s a tad bit late. But it’s always relevant.
Because, fuck you Grandma.
Fuck yeah! 3,000 posts!
For Christ’s sake, way to be a prick! Hahaha.